


Wrong Shirt for Girl's Night

by completelyhopeless



Series: Shirt Theft [10]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Community: comment_fic, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 06:06:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2762447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's no way either of them chose those outfits for a girl's night in, but Pepper and Natasha insist that's what they're doing tonight. Tony disagrees. Clint tries to navigate a potential mine field.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrong Shirt for Girl's Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Evil_Little_Dog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Little_Dog/gifts), [scribblemyname](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblemyname/gifts).



> For the prompts: _[MCU, Hawkeye/Black Widow, "Have you seen my red flannel shirt?" (from Pretender)](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/449155.html?thread=70689923#t70689923)_
> 
> and
> 
> __  
> [MCU, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts, She's wearing daisy dukes and one of his button-down shirts.](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/449155.html?thread=70682755#t70682755)  
>  For some reason, they just would not separate themselves in my head and morphed into this. I will try them separately if this doesn't work, though.
> 
> And this part would go way later in the timeline of shirt theft fics because it's after S.H.I.E.L.D. falls and after they've hit a few points I haven't written yet, but the prompts said write me. I said I had no willpower. I wrote.

* * *

“Have you seen my red flannel shirt?” Clint asked as he walked into the common area of Avengers Tower. He shouldn't even have to ask because if one of his shirts was missing, good money said it was in Natasha's hands and nowhere else, but he'd thought she'd gotten tired of that game back when they were still partners at S.H.I.E.L.D. She hadn't stolen any of his shirts since she exposed H.Y.D.R.A. and went on the run.

He stopped in the doorway. “Tasha?”

* * *

“I think I found your shirt,” Tony said, amused by the reaction from the archer. After all those years fighting beside Natasha and probably doing a lot more—hell, if it had been Tony he would have been doing a lot more with Romanoff, and he didn't even like the woman that much. Then again, she was sexy as hell. When she pretended to be his secretary, he didn't have to fake interest to make Pepper jealous.

Only Pepper was never jealous, Natalie was a traitor, and he shouldn't have been so assbackwards as to deny how he felt about Pepper when he was dying.

“That is your shirt over there on Agent Romanoff, right? So score one for me, I found it,” Tony went on. “Now comes the question—can you find your jaw? Cause that mouth, that's gonna get some flies in it right there.”

“Because you put them there,” Barton muttered, recovering. “And don't act like you don't enjoy what your girl is wearing.”

“Pepper always looks nice. Always beautiful and stunning and...”

Tony stopped. She was wearing daisy dukes and his button down shirt. Again. She knew what that did to him—if he still had shrapnel to worry about in his heart, he could have had a heart attack.

“You're drooling, Stark.”

* * *

Natasha had his shirt on, the flannel one with the buttons down the front, and Clint didn't know if she was wearing a bra under it but he wanted to open each and every one of them, very slowly and carefully and with a lot of kisses and stupid words he wouldn't even know he was saying as he did. She'd chosen it like some kind of torture, and she was good at it.

It didn't help that she had a pair of shorts to match Pepper's and he could see legs. Lots of leg. Natasha's beautiful but deadly legs.

“So,” Stark began, clapping his hands together as he walked toward Pepper and Natasha. “What are we up to tonight? Please say sex because I'm thinking of those buttons and—”

“Girls night in,” Pepper answered without a hint of teasing, total deadpan only it was sincere. Next to her, Natasha nodded.

Clint would have laughed at Stark's stunned expression if he wasn't having a moment of his own. No way. No way in hell either of those two meant it. They weren't dressed like that for girls night. Not unless the girls played for the other—Clint forced himself not to finish that thought. He swallowed. “Girls night?”

“It's been rescheduled four hundred and eight times since I stopped working for Stark as a cover,” Natasha said. “We haven't been able to make our schedules work, but I do have other friends, Hawkeye.”

“I know you do. I never doubted that for a second. I just...” He frowned. Explaining what that shirt did to him and his brain and the part of his anatomy that would not shut up was not a good idea. That wasn't them. Friends, partners, people who shared a pact to kill each other if they were turned, all of that, yes. Lovers, no.

Pepper poured two glasses of wine, handing one to Natasha. She leaned back with her own, pulling up a Netflix queue. “I'll save the sappy romance for after Tony has left. You have an image to maintain.”

Natasha smiled before shaking her head. “Go ahead. It'll blow Stark's mind if I sit through a romantic comedy.”

The two of them laughed.

* * *

“It's not real. This is some kind of hallucination or dream—nightmare. Definitely a nightmare. Has to be if Pepper is dressed like that without any intention of seducing me,” Tony said, ignoring Barton's snort. He didn't care what the other man thought. He was not letting this slide. Pepper in daisy dukes with a button down shirt was not a girl's night Pepper.

She was _his._

She'd take offense to that, so he wouldn't say it, but he was going to convince her to give up this girl's night nonsense one way or another.

“All right. How long you want to bet we hold out before doing the caveman thing and carrying them off to our rooms?”

“No bet,” Barton said. “Your girl might go for it, but mine would kill me. Not that she's mine. Damn it. It's not like that, Stark. Go away.”

Tony snorted. “Never figured you for a coward. I see I'll have to take matters into my own hands. Oh, Pepper...”

She ignored him, pointedly drinking her wine and discussing possible movie choices with Natasha when he leaned down and picked her up, shorts and shirt and freckles and all. He heard the glass break, but he didn't care. He might be a little sad about her tablet, but he'd buy her another one if he needed to.

“Tony! Put me down! Tony! This isn't funny!”

* * *

Clint sat down next to Natasha. “So... Stark ruined your girls night.”

Natasha nodded.

“There a particular reason you didn't stop him? I know you could have stopped him.”

Her lips curved into a smile, and Clint shook his head with admiration and maybe a bit of fear. “You two are dangerous together. Scary dangerous. I wouldn't have thought that of Pepper, but she is. I think she may be a bad influence on you.”

Natasha laughed, stretching her legs. “I thought you liked her suggestion. The shorts, Barton. I caught you looking.”

“Man would have to be dead not to.”

“You're not dead.”

“I have a feeling I will be soon,” he muttered, before leaning over to kiss her.

* * *

Later, there was a text from Pepper.

__

_I told you it would work. Raincheck on girl's night?_

Natasha smiled. _Tomorrow._

_Sure about that?_

Natasha reconsidered that. Clint did have other shirts she could steal, after all. _I'll get back to you._  



End file.
